[April 2015 – Cosmopolitan] How do the “Problematic Men” resolve relationship problems? – Interview

Cosmo - Problematic Men

Can men with a sexy brain also be sexy in the way they handle a relationship? We submitted dating-related problems to the sexy brains of tvN “Sexy Brain Generation – Problematic Men”. Which solution will they find to these high-level problematic situations… We’ll reveal theirs answers now.

Q. I’m a man with a sexy brain. However, the woman I’m having a some relationship [t/n: like friends with benefits] with is more empty-headed than I thought. Should I keep dating her whose body is the only sexy thing about her?

Jung Hyun Moo I won’t date her, I must break up with her. I just can’t date her.
Rapmonster To be honest, I would never date a girl I can’t hold a conversation with.
Kim Ji Suk I think I would date her. I should help her to fill her brain. I’d help her to study.
Tyler How would you fill her brain?
Hyun Moo Can a girl like this actually be good at studying?
Ha Suk Jin Through kama sutra. Hahaha.
Ji Suk What I mean is that not being smart doesn’t mean she has no charm.
Rapmon No, her charm drops because she can’t hold a conversation.
Ji Suk Efforts must be done. Can’t try to do so? She got a sexy body first. You can learn and fill your head, but a body can’t be created just like that.
Lee Jang Won Of course, if you have a sexy body, you can still feel like you communicate, although you communicate less with words.

Q. I’m a man with a sexy brain. She has an incredibly big sexy brain and has a wide knowledge even in fields that I know nothing about. Every time she makes me feel ignorant with her remarks and patronizes me. What should I do?

AllWow, it’s tiring. Would never date her.
Hyun Moo All men are like that. They prefer a girl witth a sexy body rather than a sexy brain.
Rapmon I think I would really hate it if she’s very smart, intelligent but finds a way to argue about anything I say.
Suk Jin We should just stay friends. When I run into a difficult problem and I need a solution, I could ask her about it like “Here’s what I think, what do you think?”
Tyler Like an advisory panel? Hahaha.
Jang Won I really like it when the other party is smart. However, it is nice to be an amazing woman because she’s smart, but I feel like I won’t date her if she shows me absolutely no concern and gives me an inferiority complex.
Ji Suk I think a woman with wisdom is better than a woman who only has knowledge.

Q. At the beginning of the relationship, my girlfriend would rather die than sharing date expenses. Which method should I use to get her to take the initiative to open her wallet?

Rapmon Are there people who don’t go dutch these days? [t/n: going dutch means sharing expenses when you go out with your friends or significant other.]
Hyun Moo Men don’t go out with women like this these days?
Tyler Isn’t it something you should try to have a honest conversation about?
Suk Jin Or next time you eat together, you can try to put it out there like “I ate well, today…”.
Hyun Moo No, you must be straightforward and talk about it. “Hey, today, you pay~”, “what’s wrong with you?”. You say stuff like this.
Rapmon I think I’ll talk to her about our dating expenses. I would be honest and tell her it’d be nice if we divided the money a little bit from now on. Or, I’d say of course, it wouldn’t be half and half, but it’d be nice if we’d both spend money for each other. Or, it is possible for you not to worry about that these days, but I feel like I spent a lot.
Suk Jin If you say that, do you know what will happen? She will tell her friends. “hey, Rapmon goes Dutch with me. He’s so pathetic, right?”, this is the message she’d text her friends. It’s better to just put it out there in a light way.

Q. I’m in a secret relationship with a woman who is my co-worker. Our team gets a new recruit and it’s a beautiful girl who shows me interest as we work together. She’s beautiful, perfect and I can’t say I am not attracted to her charm. How should I handle this situation?

Jang Won Even if I don’t make a move, my girlfriend would find out and it’d be the end of it.
Suk Jin Indeed. We shouldn’t make a move.
Hyun Moo However, if I waver, I should try to go out with her.
Suk Jin If you’ve been with your girlfriend for 6 years, you could waver a little.
Hyun Moo Hey, if it’s been 6 years, just skip this.
Ji Suk I think I’d be nice to her a little. If my girlfriend has something to say about it, I’d answer “I’m just being a nice sunbae, why can’t you understand it?”.
Hyun Moo Ah, so you’d use this as a reason for breaking up? This scenario is often used.
Rapmon I had a similar experience. Here’s what she told me one day. “if we were drowning, who would you save?”. However, the first answer that came to me in the moment was the name of the other girl and not the name of my girlfriend. I realized that my feelings for my girlfriend had faded away a little. Still, I didn’t go out with the other girl, but my girlfriend and I ended up breaking up later on.
Suk Jin First of all, protecting your girlfriend is the right thing to do. That’s why I think I’d try really hard to find the other girl’s flaws until my heart doesn’t waver. Knowing that, I would find her image just okay. And my girlfriend would be the best. That’s how I’d feel.
All What is this~?
Suk Jin It’s to get my heart back to where it should be.
Hyun Moo He’s a bit weird.
Ji Suk What crime did the new recruit commit?
Suk Jin That’s why I’d find her flows in my mind without her knowing it.
Hyun Moo Of course, I’d try my best not to waver, but if I do waver, we must break up. If my heart can go this way, it’s the end. What’s the point of forcing yourself to date someone?
Suk Jin If no matter how much effort I make, my girlfriend and I are growing distant and I like the new recruit more, what can I do about it?
Jang Won I would protect my girlfriend because I think the company’s business efficiency is more important. If another woman interferes between us, I think it will be a problem for our company.
Hyun Moo It’s better to date the new recruit if it’s for the company’s business efficiency. Won’t she be in a good mood and work well?

Q. My long-term girlfriend has been talking about marriage. I’m at the best age to get married, but I’m still not thinking about it. How do I solve this problem?

Hyun Moo I must break up. I’m not thinking about getting married, so why dating? Isn’t it a waste of time for her? She also has her own life. I can’t make her wait for me for an uncertain period of time. I should tell her “right now, I’m not thinking about marriage, and I think I won’t be happy if I get married now”. I love you, but from a realistic point of view, we should break up.
Rapmon I think we must respect each other’s outlook on marriage. Especially because there are many people who want to live single nowadays. There are many people who don’t think about getting married at all, so shouldn’t you check with each other about this issue?
Ji Suk However, if she’s thinking as far as marriage, isn’t it because you maintained a relationship that would go this deep? I think it can be a lack of sense of responsibility if you break up because you’re not thinking about marriage at all.
Suk Jin It can be.
Ji Suk I want to embrace her feelings.
Rapmon You must embrace her feelings through marriage.
Ji Suk I want to take responsibility. I don’t know if it can happen because I’m at the best age to get married, but such situation is a bit hurtful. The woman is feeling abandoned.
Hyun Moo So if you keep dating in a situation like this, your girlfriend is just wasting her time. If you don’t think about getting married, you should leave her fast. This is truly a tragedy of life. The fact that women and men don’t feel ready for marriage at the same time. Women feel discomfort about their age. I think it can be a source of anxiety like “I’m 31, 32, I just can’t go on like this”, “I don’t know until when this man will love me”. That’s why they’re trying to catch and hold onto the man. However, men aren’t like that. For them, the dilemma is “I must work more, I won’t be able to make my dreams come true if I get tied down with a kid”. If a woman can understand this, you can keep dating her, if not, you should hurry up to send her off.

Translation: @onesunnylady – thesunnytown.wordpress.com


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Myra says:

    Men are men…no matter if they’re smart or not, it all comes down to their comfort zone and current situation.

    1. 1sunnylady says:

      toute cette interview était palmfacitique. je ne veux pas une fille stupide, mais je ne supporterai pas qu’elle me montre qu’elle est plus intelligente que moi… alors comment faire? Je comprends leur dilemme.

      1. Myra says:

        Oui, certaines réponses étaient euh, pas terribles. *Ji Suk, cough cough* Sérieux, “Si ma copine a des soupçons je la décrédibilise en prenant ses remarques pour de la jalousie excessive” (mon interprétation lol)

        Ton commentaire est ironique? Je pense qu’il s’agit de la personnalité de la fille…je pense pas qu’ils aient du mal à trouver une compagne de ce point de vue là. Le choix est vite fait quand il y a bien d’autres facteurs à prendre en compte et qui enjolivent le portrait de quelqu’un. A ce propos, il y a la tendance à “marry up” pour une femme et “marry down” pour un homme, et là je pense que ça marche parfois pour “l’intelligence”. J’ai vu quelques dramas japonais sur des femmes docteur ou ayant un très bon poste, très cultivées et intelligentes, et avaient du mal à trouver un partenaire car elles devaient viser plus haut qu’elles. L’homme standard étant intimidé et voulant une femme moins occupée par son travail. Donc je dirais que les femmes dont la culture et l’intelligence sont supérieures à la moyenne galèrent plus que les hommes.

      2. 1sunnylady says:

        oui c’était ironique xD la société organisée autour des hommes a décidé qu’une femme intelligente et qui assume le fait de l’être soit considérée comme peu désirable parce qu’elle ne sera pas une bonne mère, une bonne épouse, elle ne s’occupera pas de la maison… -__-

  2. Myra says:

    Ah je me disais bien 🙂 Oui, en effet, et il y a aussi leur ego masculin qui en prend un coup, ils ne pourront pas se la raconter devant une femme aussi (ou plus) cultivée qu’eux, ni avoir le dernier mot systématiquement lors de conflits. C’est un peu pour ça que le “aegyo” ou “kawaii” me fait tiquer parfois, une femme ne doit pas affirmer ses opinions trop ouvertement, il faut passer la crème, ne pas montrer son énervement, passer par une tournure indirecte, etc.

    1. 1sunnylady says:

      tout est dit. je n’ai rien à ajouter xD

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