[June 2015 – Arena] Fabien and Choi Hee – Love Interview

Arena - Fabien et Choi Hee (1)

We talked about love. Because everybody worries about love. Of course, there’s nothing going on between Choi Hee and Fabien. It happened to all of us to have a few drinks and everytime, the discussion would be about love. Was love an important feeling that surrounded each of us in this moment? It wasn’t. Love was this feeling that lead our lives. Be it a successful love or a failed love, it’s something we crave all of our lives, or that we feel or that we blame as we live. That’s why love isn’t something you talk about at one point, it’s something you talk about forever. What is this thing that has nothing to do with our will and that bursts into our hearts’ desire?

What kind of man do you like?

Choi Hee: A man easy to go to because he showed a straightforward approach.

His feelings?

CH: Yes.

In the end, you look at his face.

CH: The face… isn’t important.

What’s important?

CH: The feeling.

Why don’t you have a boyfriend? You’re beautiful.

CH: I’m not a woman who opens her heart easily. I think it’s scary. Meeting someone. And I always stay at home.

How about a man like Fabien?

CH: He’s charismatic.

You don’t think about dating? You two look good together.

CH: Because I’ve known him as a dongsaeng first. I went to Fabien’s birthday party. There was a lot of women.
Fabien: It’s true that there was a lot of women, but they were just friends who were women.

If you have many beautiful women around you, don’t you feel like you must date one of them?

Fabien: No, because I don’t see them in that way. It’s very clear in my head. We’re just friends.

Choi Hee, do you understand what he means?

CH: That’s what players say.

If you like each other, you can become a couple.

Fabien: If we like each other, it will happen, right? If we end up liking each other.

Don’t you get feelings for someone? Even if she’s pretty?

Fabien: I have many female friends in my entourage who have a good personality and with a mindset matching mine. Still, it’s not like we can’t date because there’s something missing.
CH: The feeling!
Fabien: More than the feeling.
CH: A bang?
Fabien: Something I feel the first time I meet a girl. There’s just this feeling. Like can I like this person or not. I don’t know how to explain what it is.

Don’t you have an official girlfriend?

Fabien: I don’t.
CH: And a secret one?
Fabien: I don’t, and even if I did have one, it would be in private. If we get caught, I’d be cool about it and acknowledge it.
CH: You’d date in private even if you had one? I don’t think about going public with a relationship either.

Choi Hee, even if you don’t date in public, it seems that people around you would know.

CH: True. I don’t hide. I show many things. If I like someone, my mood goes “up”.

Fabien, what do you think of Choi Hee?

Fabien: She’s the style that French men like.
CH: What style do French men like?
Fabien: Women who look dignified. Like an announcer or a flight attendant. If you make a comparison, they’re more into this style than the very beautiful and fancy style.
CH: I should move to France.

Love and lies are inseperable. What kind of lies can there be?

CH: “Breaking up because of love”. It’s a lie.

You mean you can’t break up because you love someone?

CH: You can’t break up if love is bigger. There’s a movie that I like. “Eternel Sunshine of The Spotless Mind”. It’s with Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey. They don’t get along, so they get their memories erased. In the end, they meet again. You can’t break up, when you love someone.

Your love is extreme!

CH: I am really extreme.
Fabien: I also think it has no logic.

What about the “I hope you will find a better man than a bad man like me”?

Fabien: That’s a complete lie! A big lie.
CH: [You think] I hope you will regret it, because you will miss me.
Fabien: I don’t want a perfect love yet. That’s why I can’t date.

Just turn your head a little. There’s a perfect woman right next to you.

CH: Haha. I’m not perfect.

Is there another lie?

CH: “You’re the only one I’ll ever love”.

Right. When you say these words, it’s not a lie, but they end up being a lie one day.

CH: True. They mean “I love you right now”. But I don’t know… In the end, you choose one person, and you spend the rest of your life with this person.
Fabien: I think it’s possible. Loving someone forever.
CH: Really? Can it be? Even if you feel something when you see someone else, there’s only one person you can love for a very long time?

Both of you are romanticists. I think it’s impossible. The relationship you maintain is “affection”.

CH: But affection can also be love. You can’t say that love is just this butterflies feeling.
Fabien: You can also call it a cultural difference, there’s no feeling like “ssome” for French people. You’re either serious about liking someone or you just remain friends. It’s about being clear before it gets ambiguous.
CH: The reason I can’t date these days is because of this “ssome” feeling. I can’t do “ssome”. If you don’t like someone, you don’t, if you like someone, you do. I can’t be ambiguous about that.
Fabien: French people don’t start dating right after meeting each other, so there’s an overall period of time first. Like 2 weeks.
CH: You mean you must make your decision within this time?
Fabien: Yes. If you’re interested in someone, then you get to know each other and you must make a decision.
CH: Exactly. That’s what you should do.

You’re attracted to someone from the opposite sex walking down the street. What do you do?

Fabien: I would have tried talking to her in the past. I can’t do something like that now. It’s not because I’m a celebrity… It’s just that I realized that I can’t.
CH: But falling for someone at first sight is about falling for their looks. I’ve never fallen for someone because of their looks.
Fabien: The feeling is important?
CH: The feeling is important, but I’ve never liked someone by looking at them just once. I take things very slow.

Love is such a complicated thing.

Fabien: Still, you shouldn’t give up on love.
CH: Up until a couple of months ago, love was really complicated for me. I wondered if I’d be able to love someone again and I thought it’d be hard. Since my feelings hit rock bottom like this, I also get the impression that I can fall in love again.

Which kind of person do you want to meet?

CH: Someone gentle. It’s exhausting if he has a strong personality.

Gentle but not good-looking.

CH: More than being good-looking and strong… But I don’t know. As my standards get more and more vague, I ask myself who am I able to love. I want to love someone very much.

It must have been exhausting.

CH: It was exhausting. I don’t want to go through a break-up now. I miss the feeling of being really in love with someone, but when someone actually approaches me, I shut him out. Hohoho.

It feels like you know there’s something there.

CH: I think it’s because I’m scared.

What do you do when you were agonizing because of love? Hm, when you were going through a hard time in the past, how did you overcome this feeling?

CH: It’s always very hard after a break-up. In moments like this, I looked by the windoww. There could have been a woman leaving the subway station, someone waiting for the bus, someone on the phone. And I asked to myself. This person will also break up with someone, right? This person will want to die because of someone, right? This person is going through a hard time just like me, right? And then, I was able to accept this feeling. Like “ah, everybody lives like this. I’m not the only one who suffers. My mom also lives like this.” This comforted me.
Fabien: I accept the pain. Going through a hard time because of love, I think this is also what love is about. If there’s no pain, then it’s not love.
CH: Someone told me one day. What’s important for you: love or work? For me, it’s love. Working is too hard, right? It’s stressful and it’s tiring, right? Things don’t go your way, right? However, is a more important and noble love will go your way? This is what you think? These words made me realize many things.
Fabien: Because of love, you can be comprehensive about anything. Love is pain, but we can’t live without the feeling of love.

In the end, love means hopes?

Fabien: Yes. It’s true.
CH: Indeed. This is what it is. Nevertheless, that’s what love is.

Arena
Translation: @thesunnytown – thesunnytown.wordpress.com

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